Sunday, March 1, 2015
Friday, February 20, 2015
... I lost my best friend. This past week has been really hard and I have a nasty cold/flu that has brought me down, my beloved poodle Roadie was sick & had seizures, I am not so sure the next week is going to be any easier.
I do take comfort in the fact that she is no longer suffering and our last words were I love you. We were part of each other's daily lives for 30 years, lest she be out of the country or an occasional weekend. This past year, especially the last few months have been extremely difficult to say the least. I haven't painted much as you have most likely noticed. The life is not only sucked out of person who is ill, but little by little, sucks the life out of those who love them too. Listening to & seeing someone suffering that you love is life changing. All their time is spent trying to stay alive instead of living. In the last few weeks I started missing her before she was even gone. Most of the suffering she endured, the treatments, medications, was just as much for the people she loved as it was for herself, I think more. She was one of the strongest women I have ever known.
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
"Oh what a night!"
Tuesday, February 10, 2015
...that was my day. I rarely vent or complain publically but this is my place, sort of my diary... Today I was told my best friend is no longer able to speak, she is nearly non-responsive and her days are very few. She has suffered so much as well as those who love her. As if my life wasn't changed already, it really is changed now. I realized that day before yesterday was the last time I would talk to her and if I had known that would I have said other things? I wasn't sure she really understood everything I said but she knew it was me and didn't want me to get off the phone when I tried. She said very little. The last thing I said to her & she to me was I love you, so that is comforting. Today they put her on a morphine pump. I already miss her and she isn't really gone. I'm sick right now too, a horrible sore throat, body aches, so the news & realization that I can't talk to her anymore just added to my ailments, my chest literally hurt and I would find tears falling off my cheeks when I didn't realize I was crying. Unless we were on vacation or out of the country there has hardly been a day without either being with her or talking to her in 30 years. She is a sister to me, one of the longest relationships of my life and I can't imagine it without her right now. So instead of yarn, I consoled myself with paint and paper. Painting one after another. Then pictures, scanning... blogging. I'm still going but I'm ready to crash.
She sat gracefully silent in the trees...
Monday, February 9, 2015
I first tasted cilantro in salsa at my favorite Mexican restaurant a co-worker introduced me too back in the early 80's. (Louis's in Sacramento) I wasn't sure I liked it. It was not a flavor I was used to, it was weird, with an oily soapy taste, but this was no sissy salsa! They weren't shy with the Serrano peppers and that fire alone kept me coming back for more, so cilantro quickly grew to love it. Sadly the old mom & pop run Louis's has been moved, he has passed and his son's have taken over & opened their own places with the same recipes. There are so many ways I use it now besides salsa. I use it when I make Thai, Vietnamese, Chinese, Indian curries, soups, sandwiches, sauces, & dressings. My frig can't be without it.
Now if I could only get it to grow....