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Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Not Good, Bad & Ugly...

...that was my day.  I rarely vent or complain publically but this is my place, sort of my diary... Today I was told my best friend is no longer able to speak, she is nearly non-responsive and her days are very few. She has suffered so much as well as those who love her. As if my life wasn't changed already, it really is changed now. I realized that day before yesterday was the last time I would talk to her and if I had known that would I have said other things?  I wasn't sure she really understood everything I said but she knew it was me and didn't want me to get off the phone when I tried.  She said very little.  The last thing I said to her & she to me was I love you, so that is comforting. Today they put her on a morphine pump. I already miss her and she isn't really gone.  I'm sick right now too, a horrible sore throat, body aches, so the news & realization that I can't talk to her anymore just added to my ailments, my chest literally hurt and I would find tears falling off my cheeks when I didn't realize I was crying.  Unless we were on vacation or out of the country there has hardly been a day without either being with her or talking to her in 30 years. She is a sister to me, one of the longest relationships of my life and I can't imagine it without her right now.  So instead of yarn, I consoled myself with paint and paper. Painting one after another. Then pictures, scanning... blogging.  I'm still going but I'm ready to crash.
I finished and listed this piece in my Etsy shop. Its my favorite of the day. I'm going call these Little Totems.
She sat gracefully silent in the trees...
"Bohemian Hunter"
I'm working on my drawings, so in order not to ruin my drawings, I am playing with thin washes like watercolor which is really hard for me, I have to see backwards sort of.  Too much color working like this can ruin the piece in an instant.  I have several as evidence.
I am sending this one to Norway because it's my husband's favorite, my son named it, and it's more my normal style. Painting on black willy nilly nothing drawn out.
"White Water Woman"
Just miles from my home is the little town of Coloma. Famous for the gold discovery that started The Gold Rush, but also famous for white water rafting.   I'm mailing it tomorrow & crossing my fingers it arrives on time.
Tell someone special how much you love them today.

1 comment:

GlorV1 said...

Hello CJ. So sorry to hear about your friend. I send prayers to her and to you too. It's so sad when we know we are losing someone we love. Stay strong. Beautiful soulful paintings.::hugs::